A Little Step

This blog was supposed to be a personal page for rambling, except I really feel the need to update it with what some other people may consider a tiny, trivial thing but I consider a milestone in my pretty uneventful and not so long life so far.

I EARNED MY OWN MONEY FOR THE FIRST TIME!

There, I italicized it so that if anyone wants to click off the page after that, they're free to do so. I really wanted to document how I felt about the entire scenario since if I ever have trouble coming down from my high horse, I could always use this tiny lesson in humility.

Well, as a fresh high school graduate, I've been waiting for my college admissions to be finalized since the beginning of the month. I spent the past two years by motivating myself about the various things I would be free to do after high school was over, namely waste my time without feeling guilty about it since my guilt complex and ego don't mix very well together and do the things that I love. 

Disappointingly enough, I didn't spend the initial days of the vacation doing what I had hoped to do.

I had thought I would learn driving, a new language and maybe even a bit of the good old Python. I haven't learnt any of those things yet and am pretty disappointed in myself, but I did start a new blog, set up a job profile with zero experience, and applied for a few internships online, so a bit of my guilt was balanced out by mental satisfaction. Predictably enough, I didn't get the internships I hoped to get, and a few jobs were ruled out too since the minimum requirement was graduation. I didn't feel all too bad about this successive series of unfortunate events, convincing myself that this is just a small game I'm playing to see how much in demand my skills as a content writer are. Even though I got a couple of calls from companies ready to hire me, I turned them down either due to the fact that they were asking for a full time job or due to the job not being exciting and interesting enough.

Now my 'keen to earn money and be financially independent' mindset was simply not able to figure out what to do in order to keep myself preoccupied and use my time productively since a major chunk of my days would be spent filling in college applications or being at the centers for document verification and what not. Then, a tiny stroke of genius hit me and I wondered, "Why don't I teach? It can't be too difficult, and I would get to do it from home according to my convenience." So, I spoke to my mother about it, since she's a teacher too, and it was decided that I would tutor two second graders for their upcoming Mathematics Olympiad. 

The children are probably like all second graders, very cute and extremely distracted. I told myself that it would be no less than a challenge to make them sit for an hour and teach. Thankfully, they are both very well behaved and not too difficult to handle. While flipping through their guide books, I would often wonder whether I would have been that intelligent as a second grader to even understand half of the questions.

Here's a thing that people often don't realize. Teachers are not given enough gratitude and encouragement for the wonderful job that they do. It is a taxing deed, because if the student is not enthusiastic about the knowledge that the teacher is willing to share, it definitely dampens their spirits. A teacher will never want a student to perform poorly, and they understand that the child's parents are often not able to guide their ward, which is why the parents place their utmost faith and trust in the teachers to do what they aren't able to do, to the best of their abilities.

I came across all these simple yet profound aspects of the teaching profession in a little less than two weeks, and then, it wasn't about the money anymore. I wanted to do a good job at what I had chosen to do, and I wanted the parents of the children to be proud of their decision for asking me to tutor their children. I discussed the minimum fees with the mothers, and told them to pay me at the end of the month since I would be charging them on a per class basis, and didn't want them to pay them until they were satisfied.

On Friday, June 28th, after I took the class, the parents had to come to pick up their children and as basic courtesy, I went with the children to the door. The mothers asked me how the children were doing, how long would it be before I left for college and whether I was satisfied with teaching their daughters. I answered in the affirmative and told them it was a pleasure teaching the girls, and then redirected the same question at them. My heart swelled with a little pride when they smiled and told me that they have no complaints. 

The big moment, they handed me the money after this exchange. I was paid ₹1,200. 

I felt a strange new feeling. Some may call it an inflated ego, but I'm going to call it a streak of realization of independence. A prominent and spontaneous thought that raced through my mind was how different it felt when the same amount was handed to me by a relative. I didn't feel any pride then, just gratitude. But Friday was different. The money in my palms made me feel powerful and grateful. Humble too, since I knew that my efforts deserved a reward.

I went out and bought some gifts for my family members since it felt like the right thing to do. I bought a vase for my mother, some flowers for my grandmother, a pen for my father and a few chocolates for my younger brother. I bought a cake mix and baked a cake to celebrate as well. 

My parents often told me that standing up for yourself has a different thrill to it altogether, and I'm glad I got to experience it, no matter how small the beginning may be. It's taught me how much each rupee matters, and that there is no easy way out of anything. It's also taught me to be grateful for my teachers and all that they've taught me. Patience, hard work and perseverance are qualities that come with time and experience. I hope that I become a sincere person that all the elders in my life are proud of, and I can't wait to learn the other lessons life has to offer!